Ascending to the Hall of Heroes

AI Slop and Real Photos of Guitar Heroes

Mar 22, 2025

I hope his shade will smile in the Hall of Heroes when this tale reaches him.1

In David Gemmell’s fantasy novels, the ‘Hall of Heroes’ is a kind of Elysium-meets-Valhalla, where fallen heroes wait Arthur-like, ready to return for one final battle. I had this mind when I used ChatGPT to magic up an ‘epic’ image to accompany (Guitar) Heroes Never Die. The Hall presumably has an annexe for greats like John Sykes, and mighty riffage and solos will surely provide the soundtrack to Ragnarök. This was the result:

I decided not to use the ChatGPT image. It has the usual AI quirks, like funny fingers, and there is a chap at the back who grapples with an invisible guitar. I kinda like it, but the image is essentially naff.

I also experimented with Leonardo AI. The phantom guitar players bore an uncanny resemblance to Richie Faulkner of Judas Priest (not a prompt) and Valhalla the polished interior of a luxury hotel. Leonardo AI does better fingers, though. No weird conjoined nubs or extra digits on fretting hands.

A more successful ChatGPT effort spawned Ritchie Blackmore’s AI cousin, heroically battling winged demons in a scene worthy of a Dio-era Rainbow album cover. (Prompts: the guitar hero as warrior, the battlefield his stage, fighting the good fight, high fantasy setting, etc.) Ok, the Blackmore-ish guitarist is missing the pinky on his picking hand, but he has the full complement of relatively normal-looking fingers on the other and is fretting an Am power chord. The only problems with the Strat-type guitar are the missing tuning knob of the low E machine head and erratic fretboard markers. As the flaming neck demonstrates, that Am is the foundation of a mighty riff worthy of the real Man in Black. Those demons have no chance!

My favourite kitsch ‘creation’, again courtesty of ChatGPT, is at the top of this post: an angelic John Sykes ascends to glory. Note how the faces of many of his devotees appear to be dissolving. Such is the high emotion generated by an AI apotheosis!

There is certainly fun to be had with AI. But, really, what’s the point in banal image generation, in the churning out of yet more AI slop from energy hungry and groundwater-guzzling data centres? The real thing is still out there. Real guitar gods and heroes can be photographed with relative ease.

Behemoths like Zakk Wylde still bestride the world of heavy guitar and contine to throw the most heroic of poses. Justin Hawkins still preens and prances. Michael Schenker shreds at seventy, and octogenarian Robin Trower still epitomises the guitar hero. Satch continues to boogie and Steve Vai grapples with the Hydra. And, after 40 years, Adrian Smith has resurrected the Grey Lady - the übermetal Lado Earth synonymous with Maiden’s ‘Live After Death’ video.2 Long may it continue!